Soon, everyone knows about it, then it goes wrong and you have to turn up to work everyday with the whole office and the mail guy knowing you had a lil bump’n’grind that really hot dude who sits in the back left-hand corner.
But, what if you managed to go stealth.
So stealth no one even knows you like each other, let alone are doing the dance-with-no-pants most nights.
It takes the pressure off those early stages of a relationship.
And – it’s really fun.
Tips on how to secretly sex the hot guy in the office.
1. Completely ignore each other.
Now it’s the next day and you’re back at work. He doesn’t exist. You barely know his name. Does he even work here? That’s when you realise you’ve been staring at him for the last 5 minutes.
2. Strategy for suspicion.
Mine was to act like he was the biggest goof on the planet – classic school yard tactics. I may as well have hit him on the arm and called him a Gaylord.
His was to tell the whole office he thought I was hot – a textbook double bluff. Apart from the awkward situation of having three or four different people try and set us up on a date, it kinda worked… until I told them I thought he was a goof and they started warning him off me, giving me the worst reputation at work since Freddie the Fingerer. (Don’t ask)
3. Hide and Seek
Have a secret spot you can sneak off to.
Ours was a doorway round the side of the office. Sounds unglamorous but when you’ve got to sit on the otherside of the room to someone you want to rip the shirt off of, it’s a welcome relief. Don’t forget to tell him to put the shirt back on.
The hardest thing was trying to sneak home together. We lived opposite sides of town. I often found myself saying I was “meeting a friend” whenever a colleague asked if I wanted to catch the train home with them.
Hell yes I was meeting a friend.
A hot friend.
Who looks great naked.
5. Social life issues.
Ah man. So tough. A) If you’ve seen a movie together you can’t both talk about it at the office in case it arouses suspicion.
B) Your single work friends will be unaware of your relationship status. Prepare several excuses in advance as to why you can’t go speed dating with them next Tuesday. People may have started to get suspicious when my sister celebrated her eighth birthday of the year.
If you have to go out for a work party or social drinks, you’re in big danger. Alcohol + hottie you can’t wait to get home could reveal your secret.
But a great opportunity to have a flirt and acknowledge him a little. Plus it really pleases those trying to set you two up on a date.
Then have an exit strategy. One leaves, waits round the corner for the other. Grab a cab home and rip off clothes. Fool proof.